I would love some feedback on my story Him

                                         Him

He is a loner. Or so he seems to everyone. He has never had any friends in school. And his teachers have no more than one thing to complain of to his mum : "He doesn't talk ."

You would never see him playing ball with those other kids on the playground. He is always the last to enter the classroom , and the first to leave. He is an okay learner. And never violent. So the teachers can't quite spot his "problem".

But if you were really curious to know where he disappears to every day after school , you would have to follow him . But be quiet , because he's a sensitive kid. He could hear your footsteps , perhaps a second before you would. And you'd lose him . In the blink of an eye. For he doesn't desire company. Not yours , anyway.

So walk after him ,down that lonely path through the woods . And if he stops for a while to touch those wild and ancient leaves and vines , to feel Life pulsating in their veins , be still. Maybe you could feel them too ? And when he smiles a smile that is a little beyond his age , he is ready to walk on again. And so are you.

Until you reach a clearing. To find yourself on a lonely hilltop that you'd never noticed before. A few enormous rocks , here and there. You can tell that they've been here forever. You can tell that the last rays of the sun have just finished whispering to them , ancient secrets that those teachers back in school could never know.

You hide a bit closer, so you could see him well and clear. He's the reason you're here , after all. And you can see him staring into the dusky sky , his eyes gleaming with the same gold that those grass blades are. They are one. And all of a sudden , he seems surreal to you. Him. The place. This moment.

But wait . Did you just hear him say something ? Let's try and listen again.
" I don't understand them ."

Who's he whispering to , you wonder quite naturally. For there is nobody around. And it's not the kind of whisper you murmur to yourself.

"They don't make sense to me. " You look around again. Nobody.

"I know , but mom is starting to believe them too now." Alright so he's not sane. Ahh , you should've figured this long back. Of course he isn't. It all makes sense to you now.

And just when you're about to turn around , your eyes freeze over that little dusky patch on the grass where his shadow should be.

For you see not one , but two.

/r/Paranormal Thread