Dear Unlucky Soul,

I remember that night, looking up into the stars. I saw a shooting star and made a wish. It was a silly wish, but it meant a lot to me. I remember waking up the next morning, to the same clatter. My father was yelling at my mother, calling her a slough of names I'll never repeat. I opened my door and walked to the stairs. As I descended them, I heard a pan crash to the ground. That's probably my breakfast on the floor, I thought to myself. I walked into the kitchen to see my father towering over my mom, he was more than a head taller than her. She glanced at me and then quickly got on her hands and knees to pick up the remnants of egg on the floor. He kicked the pan and it flipped over before it hit the wall. A large dent now adorned our kitchen. I remember looking at my fingers, praying to god that my wish had worked. I snapped my fingers.

I distinctly remember the sound it made. It was a normal snap, there was nothing bizarre about it. However, my father and mother froze. It was only for a moment, but they definitely stopped moving. Afterward, my mother finished gathering the remains of my breakfast and put them in the garbage. I remember that my father stood, leaning against the marble countertop, watching her do it. She grabbed the pan last and then set it down in the sink. She came over to me and asked, "What do you want for breakfast?" I don't remember what I said, but it must've been some type of cereal because she grabbed a bowl and spoon for me.

I thought I had been chosen by some greater being. I started out by being a miracle worker. I would go over to friends' houses whose parents were having problems and snapped my fingers. Suddenly everyone knew that I could fix their problems. People would thank me everyday for what I'd given them. I was a hero.

There weren't any downsides to my power, until I turned 28. I had been through difficult times and was in a failing relationship. We would fight all the time, yelling and screaming things at each other. I knew that it wasn't her fault, but it sure as hell wasn't mine. Looking back, if we had met at any other time in our lives we would've been perfect for each other. However, we didn't meet then, we met now. We were having problems now. It was circumstantial, nothing that she could control. I tried my best to see it her way and to empathize with her, but that was infuriating. She wasn't trying to do that with me. I remember, specifically, how her hair looked that day. It was a little shorter than her shoulders with blonde highlights. It was a nice contrast to her natural red. I turned around as she told me that I was being a child and snapped my fingers.

She stopped talking. I didn't feel any different. I turned around to see that she was standing behind me, just staring at me. "I'm not mad," she said. I raised one eyebrow, prompting her further. "I know it's not your fault, but I don't know what else to do." Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't realize at the time, but I had taken away something from her. I'd stolen it, but she didn't care. Neither did I.

That was 13 years ago. I'm 41 now and haven't used my power in 7 years. You see, it wasn't a gift. It was a curse. My parents stayed together, until their deaths. They both died early, suicides. My childhood friends' parents followed suit and quickly I became the villain in the story. A car went into a river, an overdose, slashed wrists, and one jumped from a bridge. I remember attending the funeral of the love of my life.

Arguments are manifestations of people's drives. Their willingness to do things for themselves. With a snap of my fingers, I can take the that away. It doesn't make them happy, it makes them complacent. That is, until they realize that they don't want to be here anymore. Why should they care if they're happy? That's a sobering thought, to realize you don't care about yourself enough to stay on this earth. That's when people began dropping like flies. Once one went, they all followed. On average it took 15-20 years to realize that they weren't supposed to be here anymore.

I don't know why it took me longer than that to realize it, but I have. So, I'm following them today. There's no point in staying here. I'm sorry to whoever is reading this, that means you found me. I never intended for you to deal with all of this. Keep fighting.

-R