Long story, sorry all, but I think worth reading. Really hope I can inspire some people.
Did my size define me? Yes... In a negative, but also positive way. I always thought I was small till age 34.
..........
I peaked too early. I was a popular boy in primary school, was called a (future) womanizer and ladykiller by older girls and young women. Had the best looks, highest grades and always got the lead roles in plays. And my beautiful high school crush hitted on me at age 12. That was too early for me, but very flattering. The future was bright.
Then the problems started: Mother nature wasn’t kind to me during puberty. Eventually leading to 3 nosejobs during college years, excessive fitness, hairtransplant and horrible complications with Botox around my eyes, holding me two years ‘in lockdown’.. 18 years of Body Dysmorphic disorder in total.
Root of the problem; growing up with an imo small flaccid dick (4,5in), surrounded by BIG showers (2 brothers and father). Humiliated at soccer and by nurses at the hospital. Porn ruins us all, as we know. And reaching height 5’7 in the Netherlands didn’t help either.
So, the ’future womanizer’ became a 34 yo incel. I just didn’t exist for girls and they didn’t for me. I became an good looking, introverted nice guy. A loner. A weak, insecure beta male. So my non-existend dick defined my character I think... But... I just forgot having one...
I just focused on my hobby, making videos. Invested every cent in getting better. Just out of passion. Purpose. Fun. I had success, started a business, got big clients, big names in the country, was appreciated for my skills and even ‘’helped’’ a Dutch National team winning a medal on the Rio2016 Olympics. I got more social and made a lot of friends. Started traveling. Going to festivals (to party and dance to celebrate my successes, not for girls). And was close with my family. So despite my exhausting disorder, my ‘small dick’ and lack of female validation and intimacy, I was extremely happy around age 28. Really felt I had it all. Couldn’t imagine how life could ever be better.
‘For me this is the prove to smaller guys, not to let you down. There is more to life.
Now I’m making six figures on doing my hobby, live life on easy mode, and is my financial future secured.
Three months ago I found this sub: the stories, stats and knowledge, and even a supportive member in the DM are helping me overcoming my lifetime insecurity. I always took care of my body and skin, I look good. And now I suddenly have a quite desirable 90%er dick? Maybe I can still become the promised womanizer? ....Maybe not. 34 years is a long time. You don’t suddenly fit in. I’m either way on my way to become a proud Sigma Male.
People around me keep making me insecure, by mocking my size. Family, friends and colleagues... So I’m still fighting. I hate it being penis shamed and belittled in public, especially around women and by the people beside me. I just never understand that. I feel proud of my size after being here on this sub. I feel smallish after being mocked. But to everybody dealing with Body dysmorphia, feeling insecure, or feeling bad about having a small dick: don’t let it get you down. Build yourself and you will overcome. True happiness and fulfillment are achievable.
Big dick or not. A men’s life is build. Work on yourself and things will be better after 25... Till this day I never had a girl. But I can already die a proud man.