Ohhh fuck. That's a big question, I'll try not to go into to detail. This'll get buried anyways.

Repressed memories and feelings from my parents divorce and the abuse/ neglect following that is resurfacing. Crippling self loathing and to a lesser extent self confidence issues. No ambitions in life other than to follow an unrealistic dream that I know won't work out. I can't get any sleep and I'm getting sleep paralysis. I don't want to eat anything, and my parents won't help me set up a diet or something to follow. I've been starving myself, I just don't want to eat. I get hallucinations sometimes. They're more like disturbances in my vision than something serious. I'm going back to school/ college in two weeks. I'm trapped in a school that I signed up for for a girl (and it didn't work out with her at all), that I believe I'll ultimately fail, because I can't keep up with the amount of work and I'm falling behind intellectually. I'm unsure of my future because I'm constantly lied to by the administration and they're unwilling to help us or hear our concerns. I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but I truly feel like we're being used to bring a good reputation to our school district and bring in investors and money. I feel unloved and uncared for. My father left my brother and I for a girl who has cheated on him multiple times and violated my trust. But he didn't go far, he still shows up, and does the bare minimum in my life. But he won't let me replace him entirely. Now he wants me to forgive this girl again. Two months ago I got rejected by a girl and I'm trying to get over her but maintain a friendship but I feel like it's too late. I feel like my friends resent and pity me. And I feel we're all wasting away our time in school together. I haven't had a computer over the summer, I've never had a stable computer. I've been unable to pursue my passion, which is also my only coping method. I'm addicted to jerking off, I hardly get any feeling from it anymore. I lost nearly all of my friends from reddit, they're all cold and distant now. A chat I created and a community I built is dead and I'm left to linger in the remains because of my mistake. Even though I had good intentions, it blew up in my face. My family and I is piss poor. I'm 15.