Pretty poorly. I'm a senior in high school and I would love nothing more than to take a year off to travel and climb and visit all of the beautiful places I can get to by back packing and hitch hiking and do some soul searching, you all know the feeling. Instead I'm told that's a waste of time and it's infuriating how much doing that can negatively affect my future. No scholarships, no decent education, no career, no good life. So right now I'm taking all honors and ap courses, doing well in them, I work full time plus overtime at a local climbing gym, and my grandma now can't take care of herself so I have to stay awake at night and restrain her in her fits of rage and confusion in the middle of the night. I know that's bad for me but right now I have little choice. And this is a teenage girl problem I know but I lost my virginity to a guy that said he loved me... then went to visit his family for a month in Puerto Rico. With his girlfriend. Now I work with him. I've never felt more alone and scared and whenever I'm alone in my car I literally just scream and cry. I also have manic depressive disorder and have tried to kill myself multiple times throughout high school and while I got help and would never do that again, I still suffer every fucking day because I can't bring myself to ask anyone for help ever even when I am just fucking dying on the inside. And even when I think that I'm being ridiculously obvious.. I'm not. So in my mind it just seems like no one is paying attention or cares, if that makes sense. I don't know if this is petty teenager stuff but it all feels pretty god damn real and it just fucking sucks. I know this will get buried but I needed to type all this shit out and have maybe just someone read it.. I don't know. TL;DR I'm a teenager dealing with adult problems and I'm alone and scared.