Maybe you are ugly, dumb, and unsuccessful. Let's say those are true. That doesn't mean you don't deserve to be loved and appreciated. You not being able to love yourself or even like yourself doesn't mean no one else should.

Not every therapist is the right fit for every client. If yours isn't helping you with these intrusive negative feelings, find another. Personally, I would recommend someone who uses CBT methods. That could help you learn to stop the negative thoughts and see that you actually do have value.

All that being said, there are a subset of people who thrive on their self perceived worthlessness. It usually presents as more of a sexual fetish but can be a lifestyle. If you're mentally sound and for sure want this to be your life, I think what you're describing is considered emotional masochism. And there's emotional sadists to be the other party. I won't point you to any specific resources because I do believe that what you want isn't healthy. But what you're looking for is out there.