Jesus Christ dude - switch jobs if you're that busy. You don't have to be that busy as a coder. Some of us get a lot more time to ourselves and work fulltime. There are development jobs that won't be so stressful.
Also - consider getting into contracting and just working less. You make a lot more money, but you're managing your own business. You have to go out and network and meet people and get word of mouth going. You'll have to write invoices and negotiate. You have to be good and be as much a self-starter as you can. You have to be able to jump in and do productive things and make people feel like their money is getting well spent.
But it ends up paying a lot more. I knew a guy who said he could work 6 months and make as much as he might before in a year - but he said he just likes having money and didn't mind fulltime. But if you get in the groove, you could be taking a LOT of time off, like more than fucking Europeans.
You also have to very good at budgeting and prepare yourself for times when business is slow or non-existent. It's a hard thing to do.
I'm not doing it, but I've talked to a lot of people about it and it's something I will probably move into at some point. It's probably the best for preparing for retirement as well since you'll be earning so much more, as well as preparing you for having some basic income when you do retire. You just take less contract work, and easier jobs.
But in the mean-time, just get a different job that doesn't stress you out this bad. It doesn't have to be like that. I have a shit ton to do, but I prioritize and I make sure I get my time to myself because I would go crazy otherwise. You have to set clear boundaries and be as productive as possible when you're working. Hit all those deadlines and a lot of people won't give a shit if you take a day or two off out of nowhere.
Just find some place where you're more comfortable, because it sounds like your current job is draining your life force. Software dev doesn't have to be the hell that people make it out to be.