the dude being an asshole about it in the way he ends the friendship (coldly with no meaningful communication of why), particularly if he himself claims it was all fine up to that point.

Sure that sucks, but it's also not what you or anyone else here has been talking about. You're moving the goalposts. Like seriously, read through this entire chain of comments and tell me where, at any point, you mentioned anything about "ending the friendship with no meaningful communication". Same thing for that other, oddly specific addendum.

But just to humor you, that still doesn't show a lack of care or concern. Surely you understand how a rejection can lead to feelings of shame, embarrassment, and even self-hate. In that situation, the decision to ghost the person is more about running away, than anything. I'm not saying it's the right decision (it's not) and I'm not saying it's easy on the woman (it's not), but it doesn't mean that the woman was expendable and the dude just moved on or some shit. He could very well be overwhelmed and not able to deal with his own emotions.