It's the "herd" mentality. I cannot see any sense in it now that I've left Islam. It is really strange and a bit frightening to see my family members and friends pray to an invisible, non-existent diety now. And read nonsensical words in an edited, contradictory boom from 1400 years ago. And follow a paedophilic and misogynistic war monger. It also makes me sad seeing them do all this because I feel they are missing out on living their lives because their following of the religion. And have wasted so much time holding onto it. And their holding onto an afterlife to escape the struggles of this life. I used to be like that as a Muslim of course, but as an ex now I realise none of it makes sense. It feels strange being the only apostate in my family. I realise a lot of things now. Putting your "faith in Allah and the afterlife" won't solve any of your problems whatsoever. In fact, it will distract you from doing so. That's because Allah doesn't exist. I would pray and pray to him but he'd never change things. He'd never listen. This is where the problem lies in Islam's herd mentality. Muslims blame anything bad or good that happens on Allah's fate for them and the level of religiosity a person has. This is a dangerous way of thinking.

Also my parents sadness anytime any of my siblings and I fail because of their view that we are a "test" from Allah and that anything bad we do; will ultimately lead to their "questioning" and "gathering of sins" on our behalf.

The worst part is my father especially is a very intelligent guy. He has a PhD and everything. He's pretty liberal in many things except Islam. It makes me wonder if he ever secretly questions it but can't or won't say anything about if because he's pretty old in life and doesn't see a point, or is too scared to let go of Islam. Or has to continue to hold onto it for the sake of my family. But I can't get him to question it. I would feel bad to, in that sense. He's above 50 years old, making him question Islam at this point would be like having a mid-life crisis and I don't want to be a source of negative energy know that sense. So him and my mother, they can believe whatever they would like. It's all they have to hold onto, and I'd feel conflicted ethically taking that away from them. I'm slowly trying to work on my siblings, my younger brother especially is a bit more open-minded as he says he does not agree with all parts of Islam especially the more violent parts. Which is good. A step in the right direction.