Sounds like both of you feel like the other person isn't pulling their weight in terms of taking care of the kids/home, and that the other person doesn't appreciate them doing more than they really should, which causes resentment to build. IMO the focus should not be on litigating who does or should do more of X, Y and Z, it should be on working on your communication first. Marriage counselors help people do that for a living.

Also, I disagree with people saying that you should make him take care of the kids alone and see how much work it is. Given where you are now, it's not going to accomplish anything. He will get through the day(s) and then his perspective will be, "I did X, Y and Z with alone for the weekend and it didn't kill me, so she has no excuse to complain about having to do X and Y when I am taking care of Z after busting my ass at work all day."