400:10 Just cant be fair.

Well if you want me to brake out my feminist theory, queer theory and critical theory works I will.

If you read what I said, women are not objects. The fundamental normative system we have created in the hetro normative system of Male-Female dichotomy is that Women are objects to be sought after in a commodity market while men are buyers who have little to loss and much to gain, unlike there female counterparts who have high loss and low reward. IE.. if a man sleeps with a woman the worst he gets is an "oops my bad" versus a women gets slut shame and at worse an unwanted pregnancy. Having helped run two take back the night events and being a support advocate for sexual assault victims I have seen slut shameing first hand and its damaging effects. I have also seen the cruel nature of a vast number of men.

Dating is a construction that is a byproduct of the systemic norms we have within our society that outline the "dance". The dance is something everyone knows, flirting, dating and body language. this dance has been set up by a male dominated system that says men must be the dancers and women the selectors, as if women cant like sex or be a human who can ask someone out themselves .

now to move on to some assumptions within your wording. first, why did you assume I was a male? because the language i used was neutral but could have been taken in the light that I was male IF you make the assumption that only men can like women.

Second, Who said I was seeking to sleep with these women? Why make the assumption that I wished to simply have sex with women and then dispose of them? I used tinder to meet people because talking to someone of the other sex can be nice. Furthermore, This assumption that I was using these women as objects further shows a bias within your rhetorical fingerprint.

I dont think women owe me jack shit. I dont think that "being a good guy" gives me enough "good guy points" to get sex. Being a good person is foundational to being a good person. It is an end in itself not a means to some other ends.

What my post was attempting to do was allow me to just get out that I hate the way we set up the system. That men spam and women pick. Study after study has shown that when men start to socialize that they need to spam and women get to pick we fall in to and solidify these harmful gender rolls. Like I said, Men are not disposable and women are not objects who hold some fucking key to a land beyond.

If I happen to have the orientation of Asexual or Pan then maybe this conversation would be different but because I happen to identify as a straight male the social rules work down on me in so far as the patriarchal system has created them.

/r/offmychest Thread