Everything here apart from sibling because I didn't have any. My dad adored me, he did everything with me. But because she was so terrifying I didn't want to go back on her.

Definitely agree with self worth from achievements. I threw myself into my college course. Blood, sweat and tears is quite literal because I was getting the very best grades and amazing feedback. For two years running I was one of 4 people to pass with top marks. One assignment I was one of three people (my two friends, we studied together) to pass out of the whole year. It was amazing. In work I prided myself on my training and dedication, thriving off praise for it all. The moment I was out of work I just felt lost. I was nothing because I had no achievement.

I'm also in a career I didn't want to do. I loved getting high marks from my course but I didn't want to do it. I want to be a writer, or a clinical psychologist. If I ever find the drive I'd love to go into neurobiology or genetics. But because i had no one to drive me like my dad, I fell short on everything and now I'm stuck here. I don't mean to sound like I'm full of myself (ha point 1) but if I stuck with my dad I could have been very intelligent. He was teaching me English and maths skills that people don't learn until secondary school and I understood it. I thrived off learning and reading. But egg donor wasn't interested, so I thought "well if my own mother can't care then what's the point"