You sound exactly like me a few years ago. There is no magical way to feel better but there are things you can do to feel safer in your own mind. Go to your college and ask them about any counselling services offered - this will be one of the best things you can do. There’s always medication that can help you but that’s more depending on where you live if it’s readily available and there’s a fair bit to consider before taking meds.

But the best thing you can do is tell someone close to you and reach out for help. Your college should provide it and if not, there are services that can help provide mental health help especially if you’re under 25.

It won’t magically get better or fix itself but I promise you it doesn’t last forever. Realising you need help is a really big step and you should be proud of yourself for coming so far. It’s an uphill battle and getting better can be so subtle. But one day you will wake up and you won’t feel like everything’s falling apart and those are the days you gotta live for. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better, but if you’ve managed to deal with all you have already gone through then I reckon you’ll be alright. Good luck and be proud of any and all progress.