Thank you for your comprehensive and insightful reply.

I 100% agree about quantity time vs quality - it has definitely been something that I've brought up but I think this is something to have a longer conversation about. I also 100% agree about the weekend thing - recently we've been super busy (other social obligations with our friends and both of us with reports) which have taken up like, a good day or two of our weekends, as well as the stay-overs/events (because they started happening a lot more recently). It definitely hasn't been most of our weekends where he is away, it's just that if he goes again this week that would be the second overnight stay in a span of a month and the 4th family get-together (though I went to the first two) in the last 2 months...

And I definitely don't do the majority of the chores (thank God) but yeah it sometimes does rub me the wrong way like he is trying to get away from me when he goes off to see his parents.

According to him, he apparently does stand up for me but from the details I kind of feel like he doesn't do enough? Like he doesn't provide full context on things like how I behave the way I do and why? But he says he is trying and that I don't doubt. It still frustrates me though, and it's kind of like... I wonder if his clumsy wording sometimes makes me seem worse than I am? (Though it's not like I can go in and correct it myself.) I'm also slowly drawing his attention to how they (for example) left me out of the last event (which they intended to make a 3? day getaway), and how basically nobody talks to me at dinner when I do show up, but I'm not too sure how he feels abouot it or what he thinks.

Thank you again though (I feel like I cannot thank everyone enough), I'm honestly using an alt he doesn't know about because I know he frequents this subreddit (we read it together and show each other posts) and a part of me is worried about how the blowout will be if he finds that I've posted here...