When I was dating, I used the Brute Force method. I was consistently looking for another date - or more. Some weeks I'd meet 3 or for guys, other weeks none - but I was always looking. This sort of happened over time. I would ask guys out at the bar, at the store, online, or my personal favorite, missed connections on craigslist. From 22 to about 29 I did this, and I never could get past the third or fourth date. Being an engineer, I applied the scientific method. With each guy I tried one thing different. And asking them why they agreed to date me was always something I did on the third or fourth date, among many other things.
I got really good at asking guys out, but even after being practiced I was rejected 90% of the time.
I would also like to say I didn't start this process on purpose. When I was 22, I started dating. Mainly because I was done with school and had a ton of free time. The first guy I hooked up with - I tried to date. It went poorly. I did the same with each guy I slowly met over the next year. I would fool around with them, and immediately think that meant we were dating.
I learned that guys didn't like the attachment early on. But, I wanted to perfect this process. Keep in mind, this is something that has worked in every other aspect of my life. Failed at something? Blast the shit out of it until you have found the perfect formula for doing it. Try one thing different each time, and eventually you will have a perfected process.
I saw what was happening, but didn't see another way to get good at dating. So I just kept doing it. Plus fooling around was fun.
Anyway, my experience showed not asking was better. Partially because I noticed I didn't like it when I was asked. So I added that as a rule: Never tell someone why they shouldn't like you. I discovered people who liked all different kinds of guys. At 6ft1 185 pounds I was told that I was too skinny, too fat, too white, too muscular, not muscular enough, and one guy even told me he hated blue eyes. Moral here? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
It shouldn't have taken me seven years to understand a saying that I've heard all my life. But it did.
I'd also like to state, that looks are not the only reason I am dating my boyfriend. He's a better person than I am in every way. If I started listing the reasons I loved him here, you would be reading for quite a while. but I will say I had a lot of learning to do before I could realize that. :-) We are in our early 30s and I'm having a blast. Who knew that all it required was having similar interests and not going solely on what your dick told you to do? I could have saved a fortune on alcohol.
Oh, one more thing. Napoleon Bonaparte once said "never interrupt your enemy when they are making a mistake."
That kind of applies here. Also, I want to let it be known that I am not proud of my dating addiction. Or, my former goal of perfecting dating. I have often thought about apologizing to many of the guys that I somehow offended. However, it is quite a ponderous list and I don't know how I would even begin searching them down.