This is true. I did make a lot of assumptions on the reaction I’d get, but as I said it was based on previous experiences. If someone in her own family was passing a milestone like career, buying a home, marriage, kids the emotions she had would typically range from jealousy to self pity, to the sometimes extreme reaction of mentioning self harm. Mind you- This was the reaction for people in her own family. I provided comfort and constant assurance to not compare and everything comes at its own time. I didn’t mention something good happening with me because all our conversations at the time were about the negative in her life. Like say your friend is going through a break up and sharing their feelings about it, would that the best time to bring up that you’re seeing someone? My hope was that once we have our parents approval and we can officially start dating I could announce it then and later in the year we’d have an engagement. But the pre engagement happened on the spot. It was a surprise to us both. Again, if that makes me TA I’ll take it, I wouldn’t change anything. I didn’t want the man I was seeing to become a talking point with the girls. My relationship with him was special and I wanted to respect him and let it flourish before letting others into it. The timing of everything happened way to fast but that’s common culturally. I know people who have dropped the bomb about getting married and this was just a pre-engagement ceremony.