How is it gaslighting when it's just been misguided anger? Did your father put you up to hating your mother? Is this a case of parental alienation? Why are you blaming your mom for your father's affair? Because judging by the attitude, you hate your mom despite your father and stepmother breaking up her marriage to your father. Why do you accept your father's marriage and not your mother's? Is your mother undeserving of love to you? You accepted your cheating dad's family more than your mom's family? Why couldn't you be happy for her for having her own happiness yet be so supportive of your father's relationship? Your mom has every right to feel like your stepmom is stealing you away from her because it's practically true. You've hated your mom moving on, even before all of this stuff. You made up your mind to hate your mother's new family from the get go. What did your father and his mistress do? Buy your affections first?