To me, your post reads like a response as we touch on most of the same themes and topics and definitely opened them in very, very similar ways. It seems like a huge coincidence but I believe you if it’s just a coincidence.

My personal adoption story is super similar to yours, and I’ve also posted and commented defending adoption here before because my life was only made better by my adoption. I definitely think that the internet tends to lean more negative, and the adoptees who come to places like Reddit are generally more hurt by their experiences- and I get it. Sometimes it feels good to just rant out into the void.

I think that a lot of people don’t put as much thought and care into having a child as they could. And I think that that fact ends up hurting a lot of children- it’s great that you have the support system you do! Having a child who has any sort of difficulties will make life more difficult, but if people are more prepared and informed going into parenthood then that can only help.

I don’t agree with anybody who takes a hardline stance of “nobody should adopt”, but I’d like to ask that if you’re making a post in a forum with a lot of people who have been hurt by adoption and you call them out… people bash adoption for a reason (because they’ve been hurt). They bash their adoptive parents for a reason (because they hurt them). A lot of adoptees have felt hurt by the fact that they were the second best option for couples who went through infertility, because a lot of adoptive parents who went through infertility turn to adoption without fully processing what they went through. And then they, accidentally, end up hurting the kid they adopt.

People turn to places like Reddit when they’re hurt. You clearly understand because you feel hurt when people talk badly about adoption! And maybe avoid bashing them because they’re hurt and ended up with a different opinion than you did (which then just leads to more hurt and more bashing). Me feeling like you were writing a direct response to my post hurt me, because it felt like you were just bashing me. And I don’t want adoptees who are already hurt to feel more hurt by being called out in posts.