I just disagree with your morals. I don't hold family above all else. If her family is as awful as she says, I stand by her decision to not share any of it regardless of whether she had other people in her life she could give it to or not, that doesn't change judgment to me.

If her family is trash, whether she keeps it or gives it to close friends isn't a variable in whether they're an AH or not IMO. I don't see why that would change your judgment.

In what way would you judge her differently had she given it to close family friends? "Oh, well at least you gave something to someone else, so you're NTA" - Is that your reasoning? I'm trying to understand.