It took a long time for you to actually come up with something after I don’t know how many messages. You couldn’t leave your shit talk and name calling and directions out of it though. Maybe you could just come straight out with it in the first place.

Ok so if you go to the last paragraph where OP suggests some of his friends think he is wrong. These people know far more about what’s going on here that OP is not sharing.

At this point could it have been you that should have read more thoroughly rather than making blind accusations directed at me? Op has not given any reason why his friends are trying to talk him around.

But through the body of the text it’s clear that OP is trying to manipulate sympathy. That will give a false positive of people saying not the ass hole.

It also hints more of jealousy and control, but he is trying to sell it as he is the protector. More people will relate to that and side with him. The writing shows clear prejudice. No balance of pros and cons. It also hints at brain washing of the children.

Now I realize your not following me here. Let’s ask the questions.

Why would he bother meeting up with the person to tell them the children don’t want to see him? Posturing maybe?

Wouldn’t you just lawyer up?

What’s he scared of?

What are the children scared of?

Death of the mother. More sympathy there.

But wouldn’t it be even more important now that they know their biological father?

Now we start to picture the grief aspect as loss of a mother at such a young age is traumatic. Especially when they have already lost a father already. Of course they will cling to the parent they have left. Especially if comparing such as to an unknown.

But this reads like the step father is trying to avoid any comparison. No information is given as to why the father and mother parted ways except that they did and it was after the children were born. But what ever it was is not the kids fault but what ever they may have been told may have colored their prejudice. These kids are really lucky that their father has turned back up in their lives at all. Here most people would be thinking he’s a dead beat dad and doesn’t deserve to come back into the picture. Maybe maybe not. It’s just how it is in this instance.

As for the children not wanting to see their dad it’s him saying that they said that he is their dad. Any good child psychologist would be able to get a more reliable answer without the step dad present after a number of sessions. Kids sometimes have a habit of saying what the parent wants to hear in these types of matters.

I can really understand also after the loss of his wife why he would be having trouble letting go. But it’s only a matter of time before they leave the nest anyway. But will it be him they come to visit in the holidays or some one else?

If he was even half decent as a step father does he have any reason to worry?

Or is he just insecure?

Wouldn’t you just take it in your stride and do what you could to help the situation if you really cared for these kids?