NTA. I don't blame you at all for demanding money for your education. What your parents did was much crueler and more unfair. They used your college fund to leverage their power over you and keep you close and within their control. That is abuse, and I believe you are entitled to that money.

Losing a child is tragic but youshould not be controlled to make sure they don't lose anothsr child. You are alive and deserve to enjoy your life.

It's amazing how much abusive parents want to reconnect especially when a child becomes financially well off and successful. I have a deadbeat dad who has the means to help but didn't in my first 18 years. Now that I have a good job and he's old, he wants a relationship. No thanks. I wouldn't be surprised if they want you to move back home, take care of them, or even give them financial help.

You've done well for yourself since going no contact, and I don't see any reason why you need to regress the progress you've made. They should give you that money in some way, if not now, make sure the house or other investments equal al to your tuition is willed to you.