3. Am I [40's F] asking too much of my partner [40's M] and this relationship of 6 ...

Am I [40's F] asking too much of my partner [40's M] and this relationship of 6 years?

And I'm sorry to hear you've dealt with this too - I think the loneliness inside of a relationship can sometimes be worse than being lonely on your own. Yes, I have asked him why he can't say it and he says it doesn't feel natural to him, that he doesn't often feel compelled to say it and doesn't think I'd want to hear it out of obligation. That he didn't grow up in a family that said it often and that it's not particular to me - it's been a complaint he's heard from every SO he's ever had. We're in counseling but this hasn't been addressed directly there. I've found the therapist is helping to draw more out of him than I have been able to, so I'm planning to bring it all up soon. We've been dealing with other things (co-parenting issues, household stuff that causes us to fight) first but the thing is, this is at the heart of my sadness in the relationship - everything else feels a little trivial. It's such a mind trip because he is really good to me and seems invested in the relationship but he is definitely emotionally closed off. I wish he could see it for himself and want to work on it. I just don't think he does.

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