Nothing to really be ashamed about. There are a lot of people that experience some aspect of this. It could be dark energies (demon like) or a spirit. I think based on your post it most likely dark energies if this is spiritual related. When these energies get into you, they know you and they will do things to bring out negativity so they feed off of you. Your probably not going to like this answer. I doubt someone on here would be able to help you. Most helpful people that Ive encounter charge a fee. If someone on here helps you, let me know because I'm very interested (Seriously). Nobody can really tell you what is there unless they have to ability to deal with entities,etc. Intuitive guidance will not really work because there aren't many that pick it up and if they do they can't exactly tell you what is going on Basically you'll have to pay someone to work with you that is legit. Its a small number of legit folks that do real clearing. There are others that do it but depending on what you have on you, its no guarantee that these folks will get it. Im not saying they don't clear, they most likely do and have other helpful services but not on the level to get certain energies. There a link of a person that I recommend. He is a legit clearer. He will remove whatever is there and will tell you what is there. If you do get the clearing. If it is spiritual related you'll have to wait a see how you feel. It not like in the movies where magically better (sometimes yes but sometimes no) These things effect people on such multi level its unreal. They can put stuff in subconscious,etc. The clearer clears a lot of stuff but there certain areas they don't clear. They do not change or alter you consciousness (subconscious)/ this is sometimes altered by there presence in your energy. This is something that would have to done by a different service (different healer) if this is what you need but this is not always necessary for everyone. Sometimes, its not exactly a spiritual thing but imbalance in body causing this. So first you'll have to figure what it is spiritual or not and the only way to do that is go to someone legit that can tell you what they find and go from there. If you would like the link, just message me. Keep in mind. This is transitional account for me, so I delete my messages after a few days. Eventually this account will be gone. I can do my best to answer you questions if you have any for me.