Well, the thread is gone now, so I'm basing this on memory, but the OP talked a lot about how she was sensitive to moods (even the "cracking jokes at a funeral" thing was an attempt to counteract the more serious/depressing atmosphere around her).

Fe in general I think is more other-oriented; it reaches out and takes note of what people are feeling around the user, and a lot of what was described had to do with reactions to other people or the perceived "vibe" about them and what they thought that implied. The OP had strong feelings about manipulation (despising it and describing herself as "not gullible"), also wanting explicit approval from others for doing generous acts - and she described herself as "very generous," which indicated to me that she often tried to reach out to affect the perceptions of people around her, in the sort of "go big or go home" way of ESTPs.

Fe is dynamic and relational; the OP judged some comments okay between friends, but in a different context (on Reddit or YouTube) she perceived similar statements as inappropriate. Reacting to the context around statements seems like a more Fe-based attitude to me.

I don't think the portrayal was inconsistent with tertiary Fe; the OP did not seem to have a lot of control over its expression. It came across to me as someone who was irritated or bothered frequently by atmosphere or the "vibes" they get from someone, even though they realize consciously that it's not completely rational.

I don't know if ESTP is the right type, but I think ESFPs are more "free spirits," much more self-contained and not nearly as bothered by others' feelings and statements.