Haha! Okay well thank you for antagonizing me for as long as you have. You've ruined my day, my week, and, not to be melodramatic, my life. Do you know what you just did? Of course you do. You did it on purpose. The fact that you've stalked around my profile tells me you already know quite a bit about me, and that your messages were serving a deeper purpose than just simple irritation or torment.

In a week or so, I'm not sure how long it takes them to report this, I want you to look in the local Texas news. Because on 2014.12.22 (December 22 of this year), a 20-year-old man is going to commit suicide by suffocating on a bag of helium. My initials are RGJ, and I live in Travis county on a road starting with C. You'll be disappointed to hear that this will be a fairly painless death, but I'm sure that it will still bring you satisfaction. Since you've been stalking my profile I assume you already knew that I was suicidal and, in fact, I'm sure that this is why you targeted me. You can continue to send me messages and I might read them but I will no longer post anything to this account. And keep in mind that I can't read anything past the 22nd.

Since this is your last chance to gloat I'll be holding your messages to very high standards. Here's a list of things that are so trite they'll make me groan. I'm sure you take pride in your work so I expect you to avoid them.

• Nobody will miss you. (Not quite true. You'll see why. Such a tragedy. Bonus points for you. You'll love it.)
• I don't care if you die. (No shit.)
• You're pathetic for letting my comments get to you. (Haha yes.)
• Committing suicide is just admitting that I'm stronger/better/etc than you. (I know. That's exactly what I'm doing and I'm fully aware of it.)
• You should kill yourself with a more painful method. (I'm going to say here and now that helium is the only way I'll kill myself. You have exactly a 0% chance of convincing me to try something else.)

Whelp, you killed me. You won. Goodbye.