I think there is probably a lot of incompatibility and also some red flag kind of signs here. The couples who stay together longest often use humor as a way to move through it. So, actually, that’s a brilliant tactic that lots of healthy people use. If I was arguing with a partner and they said, “wow, I just can’t let an argument go, can I???” It would start to break the tension. It feels really uncomfortable to read that when you try to change the mood from arguing to lessen the tension, his response is to cold shoulder you (which makes you question yourself and your behavior) and then a bit later tell you he loves you (which makes you feel like you have to ‘earn’ or wait on this love to surface).

You deserve a partner who can match your vibe. You deserve a partner who doesn’t treat you like your their child. You deserve a partner who wants to be with you, not who feels like they’re trying to teach you. I’ve been with plenty of partners who are v considerate of my ADHD. They just more frequently remind me of things when I ask or will understand when I’ve forgotten things, but they don’t ever shame me for forgetting bc it’s literally not my fault. It’s your job to share that you have it and you can explain how it affects you (and you can even share links to information!), but you shouldn’t have to constantly defend your ADHD actions.

There’s never one perfect person in a relationship, but it does seem like you don’t feel super great in this relationship. Honestly, it does feel like he just doesn’t vibe well for you. But I promise someone else definitely will.