I’m trying really hard not to, but yeah right now I am.

My partner left me three months ago because my fibromyalgia and cfs and muscoskeletal issues meant that after a long day of work and study I didn’t often have the energy to go out and do things with him of an evening (side note: we had tons in common and still did plenty together and I made sure we would get out at least once a week and actively encouraged him to do this stuff with his friends/brother). Did I mention that he was unemployed for 15 months and left me two weeks after he got a job?

As a result I had to move right as I was starting my new degree, work a ton in what was supposed to be my rest period to fund the move, and have started my new uni year financially behind and exhausted.

My new degree is hardcore and is absolutely kicking my ass, I’m having to work more than I wanted to because of the aforementioned issues, and my health has now gone down the proverbial pan. Oh and I’ve had a cancer scare and surgery which has knocked my body back even more.

In a nutshell I’m unbelievably exhausted, barely functioning, can’t concentrate on anything because I’m so fucking tired and I can’t take my foot off the pedal for at least two months. I don’t know how I’m going to do it.

I get depressed when I’m not having enough social contact but I do not have the energy or time to hang with friends either.

I feel like I’m failing every day and yet I’m giving everything I have to give.

Yeah, I hate life right now and I’m really sad about it because I was so looking forward to this new chapter in my life.