I was like you, got more turned on by the fantasy but wife never knew of it but we were hitting the cusp of it all the time....I kept fantasizing online with men and making it more real got hotter and hotter where I would tease the bulls, discuss a future meet and how would eventually set it up where I had no intention of going thru with it......But then until one horned up drunken day I gave out too much info and this bull I had been stringing along who wanted her was able to go out and meet her at the starbucks she was having a coffee and chatter her up and before I knew it he had her number and they even kissed....he had warned me he was gonna turn her out and low and behold I couldnt say anything as I would be in more trouble than her cheating on me but she did and next meet she met him at his work and she blew him in his car on his lunch break.....At this point I was seeing it as he was telling me what nest step was and he told me if I didnt like it to tell her and of course I couldnt as I set this up and hadnt been able to figure out if I would be in more trouble for setting it up or stopping it? As she seemed to want it and next thing I know he fucked her brains out while I was at work.....And stupid me, I finally confessed and she told me it was best sex she ever had and she wasnt stopping seeing him and he knew this and they made me arrange hotel rooms for thm and they fucked a few more times before he ghosted her...Then she went ballistic, mad, angry, sad....she next day signed up for 3 online sites and told me she wanted open marriage and she went out to fuck every guy she could for about 3 months....was a weird brutal time in our marriage