I just wanted to drop a bit of related experience I have about this kinda shit.

Last job I moved to, I had uh, a reputation that preceded me, you could say, shitty past involved in depression, addiction, antisocial shit, generally just a cringe-fest of a life. So naturally people start whispering and gossiping about how I could be a killer or whatever. Fine. Ya don't know me and I can let it slide mostly without feeding the bullshit.

But as I was reaching out to connect with a therapist once and going through a screening first, I tried to relate how I felt when someone at work joked to someone about having me stab them in the eye, so she could get a day off. Because, of course, I'm the type of person who would do that, you know? I told the counselor that I always remind myself to practice compassion for these people in moments like that. Now - in my mind, to me, in the moment and in the moment of trying to relate this experience - that means compassion for WHY these people might be saying and perpetuating those disgusting attitudes and perceptions without caring to understand. And the counselor - to her understanding - said, yes, compassion as in, these people have families, I shouldn't kill them etc.

In that moment I felt like I had relived the first event cause there was some implication of having that kind of venom in me. It just knocked the wind out of me, speechless on both occasions and strikes me as an example of how simple misunderstandings can snowball and eventually cause someone to stop trying and collapse in on themselves. The second experience was somehow more hurtful than the first, kind of another brick in the wall. It's hard to know how people are affected differently by seemingly innocuous things.