First, the US is male-centric and stereotypes along with media reinforce that men's pleasure is the only thing that matters. Second, inherent in sex education is how men function sexually, but in sex education in the US, women's bodies are not discussed beyond basic reproduction. Women have at least 7 proper erogenous zones in the genital region that can cause or significantly contribute to orgasm, and women's nipples light up the same area of the brain that touching their clit does. Most men don't know this, in fact, most women don't know it either and it's sad.
In this day and age, no man has the excuse of ignorance of the female body and how to please a woman---the internet will tell you everything you need to know, but pick your source wisely (I recommend the Bad Boys Bible by Sean Jameson for starters for men).
kBut, my dear, make your desires, pleasures and preferences known in no uncertain terms; it's not someone else's responsibility to read your mind. If you state explicitly what you want and they STILL ignore you, then move on. Give them positive feedback when they get it right, and tell them afterward if they are truly trying, exactly what you loved about what they did to you. Also, as someone who is 52 and who has slept with more than 30 guys, I just learned this year two things that have made a difference for my husband and I. 1) women need at least 30 min. of direct stimulation on average to orgasm vs. a man's 7-12 minutes. 2) I used to think when I was producing plenty of moisture I was ready to go for sex---NOPE! Our moisture is akin to pre-cum to men (men still need an erection to have penetrative sex). Women have tons of erectile tissue, in fact, the clitoris is a giant structure that is at least 7 inches long and that has two puffy bulb arms that connect to it under the labia, around the vagina and below the exposed part of the clitoris. Plus women have a Perineal Sponge area, between the vagina and the anus and it has a lot of erectile tissue. I now know what I feel like in my genital area when I am 100% aroused, and it's amazing--so much blood flow!!!, and for years I was not fully ready to go. Also, my G-spot moves closer to the opening when I am fully aroused.
Hone in on what you really, I mean REALLY need. If you know your body well and can give a deserving guy very specific descriptions and markers for when you are fully aroused, you will get what you seek. Good luck.