"I’ve literally spent my whole life trying to disprove my faith, and the evidence (for me) is just not there."

Where did I literally say that? I did not say that. At best, you must be paraphrasing something I said and twisted it around to mean something that you think I mean but I assure you I don't think that specific thing. There is no thought in my mind of this nature.

Now, what I did say is I hear about X and I have never experienced X nor found any compelling evidence for X. That is an absence of belief.

I'm not committing a fallacy

Yes you did. You presented a quote that I supposedly literally said that I didn't say to support your position. That's intellectually dishonest.