Unlike a lot of posters, I was actually very attracted to religion from a young age --- wanted to be a missionary, attended church with my family every week, was hyper-conscious of being a sinner, studied the Bible, etc.

As I got older I started to really broaden my definition of God's will and stuff to ever more rarefied and abstract terms (i.e what many liberal Christians do when they equate their faith primarily with the struggle for justice, for example). But paradoxically I found many of the psychological comforts of religion (the sense of purpose, being on the right side of theological debates and such) were found in more conservative denominations --- but the theology itself just didn't jibe with my actual experience in the world, and was often abhorrent if studied closely (which most churchgoers don't bother doing).

Sometime in my thirties I just said (with some relief) "this is bullshit". I realized that I, like most people, was simply living my life by my own values and then trying to find a group that confirmed my biases.