3. Automatically being sexualized as a femboy.

Automatically being sexualized as a femboy.

Well....I've thought about it a bit and I think it might boil down to a defense mechanism vs defense mechanism type thing.

I attempt to reach out and find common ground in something like music or politic or something generic and in doing so make sure to avoid speaking to anything regarding gender identity etc, and find the response lacking interest or, worse, showing distrust like I'm simply waiting to break into "hey lemme see dat ass" talk. And so the conversation either never takes off or simply deteriorates and leaves us both feeling awkward lol.

I'm not great about talking to people in general, and the few times I've tried to make posts seeking friendships, I always get nothing in response and just delete after a week.

It always feels forced too. Like I may have a genuine attraction, friendship- or other-wise, but the feeling is there that I'm just being a creeper and why would this person wanna talk to some rando off reddit or another social media site. Being autistic I suppose doesn't help the awkwardness.

Still, the desire is there and even at 29 I can't seem to break through this barrier to break the ice with others. All my friendships or relationships have only formed in person and completely because of the other person's actions or through some crazy twist of fate.

I really only have one friend who hasn't fallen away and she is my partner.

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