Bachelorette Episode 1 & 2 Review (With Power Rankings, Goodbyes, And Screen Grabs)

Expect a lot of judging will go into this response to your blog post, so if you can’t take that I would suggest not reading this, bigdaddyNYJ.

  • Chris Harrison continuing his trend of calling each and every episode of the Bachelor/ette as “the most dramatic ever”*

  • Well, is something we all know... like pointing out the sky is blue. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

  • This whole two bachelorette thing NOBODY was feeling. Really needed to point that out, Captain Obvious?

Where do we go from here?

  • Huh? For being Captain Obvious, I would think you would have caught that one. We go on to a regular bachelorette season, like every one before it, except the added drama of "Oh, you voted for the other girl so why are you here" which will show up through out the rest of the season and get really tired, really fast.

"What happens to the guys who wanted Britt? Why are they still here? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, like why would Kaitlyn want to keep the 8-11 guys who didn’t want her? I know people can change, but why would she want to consider marrying someone who was his second choice???"

  • Well, this comment right here proves you really are 19 years young and have little knowledge of adults and adult relationships. Those guys might have gone on the show because of Britt, but that doesn't mean they had zero interest in Kaitlyn or are so shallow that they would just walk off because they were not 100% into Kaitlyn starting out. If Kaitlyn starts getting rid of guys just because they voted for Britt after spending a few minutes with each woman, that shows how shallow of a person she is. Studies show that men and women usually can't decide if they want to have another date until they have spent at least 20 minutes talking to the other person. Most of them were given 5 minutes. A few didn't get to talk to the women privately at all, but had to vote anyway. It would show Kaitlyn to be immature if she just kicked men off the show based on that vote alone. If she is serious about finding the right man, then she needs to actually get to know them and they her.

"I love how Britt went, “I am ready to meet my husband!” What has she been doing? Living under a rock the past 10 years? These relationships never work. There is close to a 80% chance that you don’t meet somebody you will love for the rest of your life. You are playing the lottery and I don’t think the contestants ever realize that."

  • Britt is 27. Studies show that a majority of people today do not start looking for their long-term marriage partner until they are 24 or 25, which is up from the late '90s age of 22. As for 'these relationships never work', well you are just a teenager pushing the anti-marriage mantra that teenagers have pushed for decades. That current commercial, "I'm Never Getting Married" sums things up pretty well on how most guys act through their lives. I would bring up US Census Bureau, CDC, and numerous university studies that prove your point is completely based on your own view of the world and not reality, but you need to live it to really understand. Give it 5-10 years and you will understand.

"In case you didn’t read my Bachelor recaps this fall/winter, I am indeed #TeamKaitlyn."

  • Yeah, most party/sports guys in their teens and 20's wanted Kaitlyn, while the professional and older/mature men saw Britt as a better potential wife. No surprise here. Young guys want the Party Girl, the men ready to settle down wanted Britt. No news here.

Britt’s dress was a little to prommy for me. Kaitlyn’s dress was a little to sparkly, BUT they both killed it.

  • Well, being young and still in highschool, I understand why you see it as prommy, but in reality the producers were trying to portray Britt as being in a bridal gown. She was wearing something that looked more like a wedding dress, while Kaitlyn was the party girl in a blue/black cocktail dress. Wholesome vs. Naughty, Marriage material vs. Party Girl, Good vs. Evil. It was very overtly done this way. Same with their makeup. Britt's makeup was done in a subdued way, like a woman would have done on her wedding day. Kaitlyn's makeup was applied so she looked more sexy, as if she were headed to a hollywood party.

"Were they going for the Survivor thing when the men voted? Because if so it was kind of a dud."

  • On this, everyone agrees.

"Any guy that comes out of the car, is an Investment Banker and goes up to a girl and says “I would love to puck you” is high on my list."

  • No. He is a FORMER Investment Banker and that isn't something to brag about. He more than likely was an analyst at an investment bank and left or was fired. If he was on the floor, he was one of 500-1000 guys. Investment Banks often hire 2 guys for 1 job and see which of them work out, firing the other, hence you hear about many former investment bankers. And...yes...I would think that as a 19 year old kid you do belive telling a woman "I would love to puck you" is a stellar idea. Sure, Kaitlyn laughed because she is 'that' kind of woman. I can assure you that using that line with many women would earn him a slap, not a laugh. Once you have been in the bars, you'll understand.

I can just tell this is a gritty guy. Anybody that brings moonshine on his first date is a lunch paler. How do I know this? Because lunch palers only drink hard liquor. They don’t drink Mike Hard’s Lemonade. It’s Moonshine, pure alcohol, or Mad Dog 20/20.

  • No, a vast majority don't. First off, it is a Lunch Pail, or Lunch Box. Pale means light in color or as an adjective it means unimpressive. A pail is a bucket. Guys who are lunch pailers are blue collar men, like farmers and construction workers... and a large majority drink beer and hardly touch hard liquor. Again, when you hit the bars, you will understand.

There is just something about an investment banker from New York City. The guy just looks like a douche bag, and honestly I like it.

  • Yes, we get it. You are still 19 and think being a douche is cool.

You don’t get to become an investment banker in New York City by being an idiot.

*This is like saying you don't get to become a lawyer in L.A. or a Politician in Washington D.C. by being an idiot. There are literally Tens to Hundreds of Thousands of investment bankers in NYC. They are not all bright guys.

This is a good thing for Corey as in this series, the guy with the most strategy usually wins. It’s all a game folks, always has been always will be.

  • It is all a game, huh? The Guy with the most strategy usually wins....what? What is the prize? Make a woman develop emotions and then break her heart because it is just a game to get more time on TV and go on the Bachelor or other shows? So, in reality it isn't about meeting a woman who could be a wife but using her and the show to gain national exposure? I can understand why you like the douches, as you say.

Another gritty individual. I don’t think there is anything more gritty than living in Idaho (people actually live there?) and being a welder. He’s a mans man. He made a rose out of steel. He made it with his OWN HANDS. I can barely make chicken on the grill, and he’s making flowers out of steel.

  • Yes, people actually live in every state of the union. It isn't like a bunch of states are completely empty. You know that people don't get to choose where they are born and when they grow up, they often don't leave the state they were born in. Odd how that works, even in this day and age. Nothing more gritty than living in Idaho and being a welder? How about a farm hand in Kansas, a farmer in Iowa, a horse trainer in Texas, or an oil rig worker in North Dakota. Industrial welding isn't that gritty of a job. He is also nearly twice your age and has nearly as many years as being a welder as you have been alive. Makes sense that he can create art out of metal while you have probably only been allowed to use a grill for 2-3 years.

Apparently he was hit by a car. For some odd reason he didn’t explain to us how/why he got hit by a car, and last time I checked you don’t just get hit by cars

  • Yes, people 'just' get hit by cars all the time. People have been standing on the sidewalk and have had drivers jump a curb and hit them because the driver wasn't paying attention to the road. People have been walking through a crosswalk, where they have had the green walk signal and drivers have blown through a red light and hit them, just to drive off. Apparently, you also have forgotten that this is a taped show where hours and hours of video are never seen by us. Those interviews alone are 1-2 hours long and cut down to only a few moments for broadcast. He might have actually explained the whole incident but it was never shown on TV because the producers probably thought him saying he was hit by a car was explanation enough.

These are the type of people that I just don’t get. How do you not have any anger? How can you stay calm for so long? What is your secret??? Yesterday I had to wait 10 minutes longer for my McDonalds hamburger than usual and I was ready to punch someone in the face.

  • Well, kiddo, some people can actually control themselves. He probably has anger but can control it, unlike yourself give your explanation that you were ready to do physical harm to another person because they were unable to give you a fat-n-soy burger fast enough. Sure, dude may be a little different, but the world would be a much better place with less folks like yourself with your anger management issues and wanting to hurt others over the tiniest thing, and more folks like him who can keep their emotions in check.
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