The third problem is that, remember, most pilots don't sell. Their primary purpose is to get you on staff somewhere. ... and you're the guy who couldn't get it done in an hour.

i'll be honest. i'd actually pushed the purpose of writing this pilot at all to the back of my mind and forgotten that it's not about pitching this story so much as pitching myself as capable of producing stories like this one. i appreciate the reminder.

My second concern echoes BAII's comment. Episode one doesn't sound like an interesting show. It sounds really set-up-ish, and like you're front loading exposition. (Maybe this is wrong, but it is how it comes across in your description.)

you're not wrong. i just don't think it belongs anywhere else. this isn't one of those things where i can jump in on the first day and save the in-depth version of the recruitment for a "secret origin of..." episode later on. if i leave it out, i'll miss out on some important character moments and end up backing myself into a corner where the only way out is clunky exposition. front-loading, while admittedly detrimental to a one-episode pilot, is the more natural way to go because it's how the character would experience it. the way i see it, the recruiters would be convincing the character to take the job and the viewers to watch it unfold.

"House" didn't start by showing us how Dr. House became a bitter, limping grump.

true, but throwing out part 1 would be a little like throwing out the first 10 pages of the house pilot. similarly:

The Matrix doesn't start with showing us how the robots took over the world.

dropping part 1 altogether is like starting with neo and morpheus sparring. that's over 40 pages in, skipping over everything from "do you know who this is?" to the revelation that the world is fake and morpheus thinks neo is the one. i don't intend to establish all of the mythology in the pilot, but i need enough of it so that the recruiters can use it as a point of persuasion.

In your case, it seems like you already have a framework to do the work you need done: you get him in the job, he makes a mistake ... and now you have a dramatic engine to pull you through the episode (which gives you room to start filling in the mythology as we go). "Can he fix his mistake?"

the short answer is that there's no way to fix the mistake. the job is forever changed, both for himself and for anyone who does it after him. however, the nature of the mistake and the secrecy of the job would actually provide some good opportunities for on-the-go mythology expansion like what you've described.