3. Bi-Weekly CAREERS Mega-Thread [May 18 2015]

Bi-Weekly CAREERS Mega-Thread [May 18 2015]

I'm a 21 second semester junior Mechanical engineering student on paper, but really I'm just an immature stoner kid with no passion for my major and no direction for where I really want to go. I have no interest in anything I'm studying. This shit I'm learning is complicated and hard and I just don't care enough. I study because I have to, or else I will fail out of school, and I'm not a failure. I've made it this far because I'm not a quitter, so my only real goal is to finish this and get my degree. The only thing keeping me going is the fact that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (graduation). I live my life with a painted smile so that no one will ask me if I'm alright because I'm not. I hate every day of this. All I really want to do is sit around and smoke weed and play video games but I know that's not realistic. I can't get myself to focus during class. I try so hard but I can't. My mind drifts off and no matter how many times I try to refocus I find it drifting off again and again. I'm so busy and stressed all the time now trying to keep up that I forget to eat constantly. My body has become weak. I've lost 10% of my body weight in a semester. I used to go to the gym and stay in shape but not anymore. I used to like to go out with my friends and go to parties but not anymore. I haven't been with a girl in 2 years because I don't want to add another complication to my life that I can't handle. On my 21st birthday I spent the night thinking about the multiple homework assignments I had to get done, and silently wishing that my friends didn't take me to the bars so I could study. This is not the life I want. If I could talk to the senior in high school version of myself I'd punch him in the face for being such an idiot and sending me to this hell because I couldn't be bothered to look into what engineering really is. (Disclaimer: I'm highlighting the bad. Of course I've had some good times and some fun, but the bad outweighs the good 10:1)

My resume is not terrible (I THINK!), apart from my GPA of 2.6 (although I expect it to go up now that I've started studying every day). Along with other less important things, I have 2 semesters of co-op experience with one more to go at a respectable engineering company, but I hate it and am not looking forward to going back (not entirely true, I don't HATE it, but I certainly don't love it). Everyone there seems to like me and appreciate the work I do, and my employee evaluations are outstanding. I know with the recommendations of my supervisors and coworkers I would be able to find a good engineering job, and have been told multiple times that I will likely be offered a job at my current company after graduation. The problem is that I went to work every day and pretended to be someone I'm not. I did the work asked of me, I did it well and without complaint, but if I have to do that every day for the rest of my life I'll go mad.

Yeah I could suck it up and just do it, and if I don't find any other realistic options then I probably will, but I sure as hell don't want to, which is why I'm posting this.

What can I do with myself? What are the options for unconventional career paths (I.E. not 8 hour days 5 days a week)? What can I do with a mechanical engineering degree that would take me away from what I'm doing in school, and where I don't have to act like a professional? I look forward to graduation only so that I can be done with all of this, not so that I can start my life as a successful engineer. My parents expect me to find a good engineering job after school so that I can support myself, but as of now I would rather work at McDonald's.

I'm not looking to make enough money to live in luxury. I don't want a big house or a flashy car. I want to be happy and I am not. I'm just so lost and I don't know what to do other than keep pushing forward on the path that I hate.

TL;DR: I hate my major. I'm pushing myself to complete my degree only because I made it this far and I'm not about to give up. I do not want to spend my life working 8 hours a day 5 days a week with things I have zero interest in, but I don't know what else to do. What do I do?

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