A lot of the time, no, there’s no red flags. Abusers are generally the perfect girl/guy initially and outwardly. Your friends and family will love them, everyone will think they’re perfect and you’re the perfect couple.

They don’t just flick a switch either, it’s not like they go from buying you flowers one day to this thing the next, it’s a slow gradual process of manipulation and abuse that you don’t really realise you’re in until it’s too late to just walk away.

Sometimes there are red flags, but love is a crazy thing. It makes us irrational and stupid sometimes. You might be willing to overlook some red flags, until something like this happened.

Other times people are vulnerable, and they overlook the red flags because they’re desperate. They might think this is the best they can get, often abusers will play on that too.

Obviously there’s always some idiots, but they’re a minority of cases. Abusive relationships don’t start out that way.