I apologize for adding to your frustration / partaking in derailing the subject. I just felt called out, and responded in kind to defend myself.

I do know some good guys, and do know some creepy guys. Yes. I don't know any that have dated trans women or hooked up with them. But having two longterm relationships with trans women, I do know a lot of the BS you all have to go through with chasers / fetishists / experimentors etc... I get it. I've heard horror stories too. I treated that lifestyle like dating, as it runs a broad gamut from essentially escorting to being a loving almost vanilla relationships, and anything and everything in between. I started in that lifestyle because I was very depressed, morbidly obese, and had a failed marriage (to a cis woman) and felt like even though I was a young man (in my late 20s at the time) that I was going through a midlife crisis. I wanted to find my person, and help them along the way. Hence joining that lifestyle. I had several failed relationship during that process. Sorry for the details, but that's the place I am coming from. I am here to offer my views and opinions if wanted, but have just lurked. Because I saw mostly trans women commenting and didn't feel it was my place to comment as a cishet man. BUT I've learned from this sub and bigger subs. I know more about what's going on in the community than my own GF, thanks to reddit and subs like this. I started at almost a blank slate, but a mix of dating and reddit, helped me learn a ton. I know as a cis Straight guy if you date trans women, and it is known, there can be stigmas (i know nowhere near as bad as what you gals face), and so a lot of guys are ashamed to date trans women. They fear the backlash and getting flak from family and friends, and even society. And I've been given shit before too, either overtly being being called gay or worse, just for dating a trans woman, to the more benign "oh, I didn't know you were bi?". I stood up to family and friends over that, saying I am straight, she is a woman, and if you want to give me shit about who i love, then we can not be in eachothers lives. Thankfully they eventually came around. So I get it. But I am very secure in who i am, who I choose to love, and my beliefs. I am not ashamed to love a trans woman / date them. BUT many guys aren't that way. They are afraid and oe ashamed, or want it to only be behind closed doors. I am trying in my own small way to normalize things, and to say it is ok to have a meaningful relationship, and screw what others' may think. That sort of thing. Hence why i posted here tonight and have posted occasionally in other trans subs.