I am expecting this to be met with as harsh words as some of the other comments on here, but after seeing this I wanted to post something.
My life has not been easy, my parents gave me away when I was 6 because they would rather be doing drugs, I ended up back into my father's custody when I was 14 and he was a pill addict, my mother was supposed to have another baby before she got pregnant with me and miscarried so I feel as if I should have never been born in the first place, I was bullied constantly as I grew up, I am directly responsible for HORRIBLE things that happened to another human being through no fault of my own - every day I wish I were dead.
The sad thing is I now have a daughter and a fiance who love me - and I cannot love myself. I am telling you all of this because I want you to know that there are other people like you, full of rage and pain out there who would never dream of hurting another soul because they know what it feels like. I have no words for you that will magically cure you and make you feel better, but I wanted to let you know that things can get better with time.
Are you still a minor at this point? I wanted to kill myself when I was 16, but today at 25 I am glad I didn't because even if I am still depressed most days, my daughter always puts a smile on my face. I wouldn't have thought that, let alone the fact that I would want to have a family of my own, back then. When you are old enough to move out on your own, you can leave EVERYTHING about your old life behind, and become whoever you want to be. You can out all that hurt into a little box in your mind and never look at it again. I don't talk to my family much these days - they make it so much worse by trying to pretend we are all perfect when in reality I KNOW I was always an unwanted child - I wouldn't have been raised by grandparents if I wasn't.
I am sorry for talking about myself so much, I just wanted to let you know that I can understand where your pain is coming from in some way and why you are feeling it; if you care to talk to me, you can find me here or on FA. Sorry for the throwaway, I just don't want anyone I know coming across this. I truly hope you feel better soon, it is wrongwrongwrong the way people are treating you and they are just too damn ignorant to get it. :(