Yeah, when I was 23-25, I was in a relationship with someone eleven years older than me. I’m 28 now and even just three years have made a colossal difference in my world view/emotional regulation/ability to navigate life. Sometimes I reflect on that relationship and am baffled at how/why this partner chose to be with me when I was so young. (Funny enough, this person also was cheating on me with his “best friend” who I didn’t know about)

OP, if you said you were with her two years ago, meaning she was 20, which is barely an adult. The brain is still developing in the early twenties, and a lot of it is spent figuring out how to navigate life and complex emotional situations.

You mentioned that she had an abortion “for you.” I understand there’s a possibility of you typing quickly and phrasing it poorly, but that language implies it was more of your decision. That’s an incredibly stressful and potentially traumatic situation for a young woman to go through, especially if she genuinely felt like she wasn’t supported. This could breed resentment, especially if her friends were supportive during the time.

I don’t mean to mention this to lecture you, OP, I just want to offer a little perspective. Trying to understand the mindset of the betrayer has often helped me let go of (at least some) of the deep anger that consumed me, but it can also raise more questions like “why didn’t they just communicate their feelings to me?”

The stabbing pain of betrayal is so intense, and it can be incredibly difficult to cope with. I’m sorry you have to adjust to this new view of your relationship and realize you were being lied to for so long. It’s not a fun place to be