So, let's compare a child to a monster.

You and your partner are in the lab, messing with toxic chemicals for fun, and suddenly a monster erupts from your vials.

Your partner had one chance to destroy the vials before it became a monster, but didn't take it for whatever reason. Maybe they saw hope for its future as the next superhero. Whatever. They didn't kill it and you had nothing to do with it. You weren't there.

Regardless, both parties are equally responsible for bringing the monster into the world. One day, someone in a lab coat from Texas walks up to the first person, and says, 'let me take this monster of your chest,' but the lab worker once again refuses. They made the monster and they decide to take on the responsibility.

Simply because the former is given the opportunity to relinquish their responsibility (for the good of the world, because, after all, if abandoned on the streets, this monster could go on a killing spree or something), doesn't mean that the latter is automatically off of the hook. Both created this thing. The former might have the opportunity to remove it due to practical reasons, but their choice to not do so does not change the fact that at its roots, caring for this thing is the responsibility of both parties.

The choice to have or not have an abortion isn't about 'fairness.' Neither is required parental support. Both are done with the intent of the good of the potential child and society as a whole in mind. I think that the choice of the woman to abort or not to abort is non-negotiable, and unfortunately by default gives the man no say in the matter.

However, that being said, it is important to note that women are also paying more child support these days in the case that the man makes the choice to raise the child instead. As they absolutely should be. That is where I think the major upheaval needs to occur. Not than men should be relinquished of their responsibility, but that women should also be held to the same standards when it comes to child support, divorce , etc., which is still shamefully backwards in the U.S.