It was a chilly midwestern fall afternoon, the trees were becoming bare and the wind whistles through the barren streets. It was 4 O'Clock, and like always, I was hungry. I was hungry in a way I'd never felt before. As my stomach rumbled and my mouth watered I started to crave only the finest of fine, the epitome of class and deliciousness. There was only one place that could satisfy my lust, and that place was the Milwaukee Applebees.

I don't go out to fancy restraunts very often, I'm what you would call a 'beer and brat guy' stuffing my face with calories and carbs to insulate my face from the brute upcoming winter. Since this night was so special, I picked out my favorite tight turtleneck. The one that shows off my ample breasts and round belly. Surly I would be the envy of all when they see how warm I will be in the upcoming frozen season.

My wife, Nikki, was in the shower enjoying a cold Miller Lite. She's trying to pretend she's not excited for this prestigious moment. A night at Applebee's with a famous political pundit and reknown science fiction author.

'Patrick' she said with exhaustion "you've already spent my entire years salary to get your twitter back, are you sure we shouldn't be cooking our own food'

I looked at her aghast and shot back 'Honey, this is the age of Fonald Plump, and I will not stay silent'. She was convinced. In one small statement I was able to make a thousand points. I quickly posted this to twitter to increase my algorithms.

As soon as I was done, the phone rang, Nikki answers and tells me 'Patrick, it's your daughter...'