I think one key factor that will answer multiple of your questions (tryharding, pay to win, items, lack of team communication, etc.) is that Dead By Daylight really seems to be more setup as a survival horror themed party game than as a competitively focused esports game. You have probably noticed that despite being a multiplayer pvp game that has been out for years, DBD has no ranked ladder, no player stats or history, no match replays, and a very minimal competitive scene. The game doesn't even officially tell you if you won a match or not. So while it would be weird in other popular pvp games to have important perks behind pay walls or killers of such widely different power levels or teammates that can't talk or key add-ons that you have minimal numbers of, because of how all those things would hurt the games careful balance and competitive integrity, DBD doesn't really have careful balance and competitive integrity. At least not in the ways most Esport titles strive to have. DBD's purpose is more just purely about having fun and creating a horror themed atmosphere. So survivors are supposed to feel a little isolated and helpless against the scary killers, and killers are supposed to put together wacky builds instead of always having access to the most powerful items to run meta strats.