Crazy Lady Road-Rages on I-80

So years ago I was in the car with my mother and I had the passenger seat fully reclined and was laying back and I think I was reading, maybe playing with whatever the current protable video game system was and just sort of chilling. Some guy tries to merge from entrance ramp but he doesn't get behind or in front of my mother (she tells me this later, I didn't see it) he just puts on his blinker and sits right next to her. My mom doesn't slow down or speed up she just keeps going the speed she was and assumes he will slow down or speed up to merge, no cars behind or in front of us, but he doesn't do either he just sits beside her with his blinker on.

When the merge lane starts running out he starts to come over on top of her so she decides he somehow doesn't see her and she beeps, not lays on the horn, beeps, she also brakes at this point. Well this guy loses his fucking shit. He swerves over in front of her and slams on his brakes.

My mother... is not a lady you fuck with. This is a woman who has travelled, a lot, and when it was by car she always kept a gun her dad had bought her and taught her to use in the glove box, she has some good stories about that gun. Mom has lived in the middle east, in Alaska, in Texas (populated and middle-of-nowhere versions), and a few other places. My father was from Palestine and they got married when she was 20, at 21 she was in Lebanon participating in protests and doing some student level photo-journalism. One of her favorite stories is the time she went to a wedding in Lebanon and they started firing an uzi at the empty gift boxes as part of the reception party and all the other white girls thought they were under attack and threw themselves on the ground and started crying. Mom is just not a timid lady (even when she probably should be). So Mom doesn't try to avoid mr asshole, she just pulls right to the side of the road where he wants her to go and throws open her door.

And here is the extra fun part, when this happened I was in my 20s, now I'm not actually a "tough guy", I'm a computer nerd. I'd rather be playing video games than doing almost anything else and for the last few years I've made a living telling people to turn it off and turn it back on again (IT support). So yeah, I'm not scary if you know me. But if you don't know me, and you just ran my mom off the road, well.. I'm 6'5", I weighed at the time about 250 pounds, I've had a beard since I could first grow one because I hate my chin line, and my hair back then was down to about my shoulders. I have a sort of fake cultivated "biker" look. I didn't have a lot of choices with how to go with my look in life, I'm tall and broad shouldered and a little on the heavy side so I could be the chubby tall awkward nerd or I could fake a look I liked better, since I already had a pretty good start on the football player/biker guy look I went ahead with that and I basically looked like an extra from Sons Of Anarchy, though with less tattoos.

So I sat up a bit as we pulled over and then laughed and laid back down and said something to the effect of "don't get killed". So she is yelling at this guy and he is yelling back at her and it's nothing coherent really. He's calling her a stupid cunt and she's saying fuck you what is your fucking problem, just that shit and then she, very calmly, leans into the car and says "he's coming toward me" so I sit my seat up and open my door, I don't even get the door all the way open when this guy, who is MAYBE five inches taller than the bed of his truck comes up, stops, turns around, and RUNS back to his truck, gets in and peels out, sticking his hand out the window to flip us off when he's good and gone.

Anyway, that's my road rage story. I enjoy telling it.

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