I find I can feel this way when I am actually doing things that might push emotions away. For me, I smoke a lot of pot which many say isn't a real problem but it turns people into very self-centered versions of themselves, which is what it does for me. I have to not smoke pot in order to be able to feel most acutely my own emotions as well as to be really compassionate with others. I am currently sober for literally three days.

I don't mean to push at all, and I'm no therapist. The totally insane Buddhist scholar, Chogyam Trungpa, spoke and wrote about the genuine heart of sadness, and that it lies beneath levels of fear. This fear, Trungpa suggests, disguises itself as envy for those who compromise our individual perception of the world. He suggests that envy comes from a fear of true emotion, but that the true emotion has always existed. It is a matter of finding the trapdoor where it is hiding. Sometimes one has to pull back a rug to find it, but he suggests it is always there.

Now, there is much controversy about Trungpa's actions and alcoholism, but the Dalai Llama is openly not for female equality in his own community. I take Trungpa's lesson on sadness to heart. It makes me sad to know it is true for me, but it brings me closer to a direct experience of feeling and being. This is all so transcendental to be talking about on Reddit. I'm not sure if you're a reader, but I also find that trying to actively learn and help about the struggles of people who are not your gender or skin color through reading narratives and histories.

And I know this might not be appealing, but some therapists really are quite good at their jobs. Therapists do not exist to help "crazies." They exist to help everyday people who have lots of stress, or potential confusion, get through difficult times of identity. They exist to help one get closer to themselves. I'm not going to say, "seeing a therapist would help," because who knows? I can say, though, that therapists have helped me be able to be myself.