When I think of where we’d go it would most likely be outside of a larger city where I’ve got a couple friends. Culturally there’d be more to offer kids there than where we are now.

You mentioned affording it and that’s another appealing reason for me—the COL is much cheaper where I’m from and we could afford a much larger home on a lot more land and still have some left over if we sold our home here, so it would be easier to move there than to move back here later if we changed our minds. I’m very fortunate to work fully remotely and my husband is on the path to do so as well, so one idea my therapist has floated has been trying to have property in both places and be bicoastal which appeals to me but not my husband.