I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate my emotions. My dog has had a weird cough these past few weeks and today he basically refused to play ball, which is his absolute favorite thing in the world, and I started freaking out because I'm afraid he isn't playing because he feels lethargic and whatever is causing his cough is getting worse. (Also doesn't help that I've been googling his symptoms and reading every worse case scenario.) My previous dog died from water in his lungs and spent his last days coughing like crazy, so seeing my current dog acting weird brought back the emotions of my previous dog's passing. I called some vets asking if they take emergency walk ins and I was asked if my dog was in distress which set off a realization in my head that it's not the end of the world right now. I could wait a few days for a regular appointment the same way I could wait for an appointment for my doc if I'm not in distress. And now I feel embarrassed for being so dramatic with a combination of my guts being twisted from the anxiety of making those phone calls (and just the anxiety of being perceived). Then I let my dog out and he ran down the yard barking at the squirrels like usual! He probably just has allergies or a cold.

I do this shit way too often - jumping the gun then dwelling on my overreaction. Why can't I handle anything that differs from an ordinary day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!