I completely agree with you that childcare staff play a huge supporting role (which I think is a generally a good thing), but I think what many people find offensive in statements like OP's friend made is the clear implication that parents therefore AREN'T raising their own kids. Most working parents still spend a ton of time with their kids, and tend to be the most influential figures for them. At most it becomes a big team effort, I think. Some people will imply that daycare is bad because others are raising the kids entirely instead of parents, even though with evenings and weekends and holidays and days off, parents still spend even more time raising their kids.