When I was really young like 2nd or 3rd grade my mom and I were driving home on my birthday and we caught my dad trying to sneak out of our street before we got home to go fuck the woman he abandoned us for. He put on this big fake smile and said you don't mind if I go do you buddy? I started crying and said no. Then he drove away. Later in life when he was even around he would just beat the fuck out of me on my birthday and always Christmas too. He never got me anything ever. No presents or cards. Not once. Just beat the shit out of me. Now holidays and my birthday especially I just feel really depressed and as an adult he blames me for our lack of a relationship because "I never call or try to reach out". It fucked me up for a long time, until I showed up at his house drunk and coked up one day when I was like 23 and smashed up his living room, broke his TV, then called his wife a stupid cunt. He grabbed a shotgun and said leave or I'll shoot you. So I went out in the yard and smashed the fuck out of his car with a tire iron and threw a cinderblock through his windshield yelling something like "shoot me then you fucking pussy". The look of sheer terror in his eyes as I basically destroyed his house and vehicle made me realize he was just a coward that liked to beat up on kids and women. As a parting shot,I told him that one day I was going to wait outside until he left for work and kill him and no one would miss him or care. I said it might be next week or it might be in ten years. I have no intention of killing him I just wanted to fuck with his head. This may sound extreme, but he definitely deserved it. Or worse. And that's how i got over my daddy issues.