I haven’t had an ex in 10 years. ThankfullyI’m married to an incredible man.
I ultimately broke up with my ex, let’s call him Robert, because I kissed another ex, let’s call him George. I do not condone cheating by any means.
I was back home from college for the weekend visiting some friends. This was in 2013. I was hanging out with George & a few others. George & I dated for a year in high school. I was telling him all about Robert and how I wanted to end it, but I didn’t know how. I had never broken up with someone. My past two relationships were mutual endings, so easy. Looking back, I’m so ashamed of myself for being a wimpy 21 year old girl. I told him about Robert raping me, how he tells me I WILL be a stay at home farmer’s wife when we get married (WHEN NOT IF) and making me go to Catholic Church. I am not Catholic. I do not like religion in general. It wasn’t part of my life growing up. I believe in God and doing the right thing, that’s about it. George gave me a hug and held me while I cried… then we kissed. One kiss, no sex. I felt so bad about cheating, not because I cared about hurting Robert at this point, but because it’s not in my character to cheat. I was disappointed in myself.
After that weekend, I headed back to school. I first made a stop to Robert’s frat house. I told him it was over. He asked why. I said I kissed George. He knew George from the year we dated in high school. Robert & I went to high school together. George went to a nearby high school in a different town, the same school as my husband actually. Robert never liked George. He was understandably upset, but I felt relieved.
Then he tarnished my name. He told everyone I raped him. I know women can do that, but I was 100 lbs and he was 160 lbs. I was tiny. He claimed he was Catholic and waiting for “the one,” but I ruined it for him. Any who, our mutual “friends” never asked me my side of the story. They believed him. To this day, none of them know he raped me. I don’t talk to them. I want nothing to do with them and thankfully I do not live in our hometown like the majority of all of them still do. My husband & I happily travel the country for our work with our 3 little furbabies.
The rape happened like this. His parents were in town visiting for the weekend. I was on call for work. They took us out. I couldn’t drink in case I had to go in. Robert did drink, a lot. I was sober cab for us. We get back to his frat. He is horny and wants sex. I DO NOT. I said no several times. He didn’t listen. I managed to get up off his bed finally. He grabbed my arm. I shoved him away from me. He stumbled back and I ran out of his room and out of the frat to my car. I drove back to my apartment. He called and called and called. I ignored them. He left me voicemails apologizing profusely. He even said he wouldn’t drink vodka again. He thinks it was the vodka that made him do it. (insert eye roll) Fast forward to the next weekend, he’s drinking vodka again.
I never went to the police. I wish I would’ve, but I didn’t…
My husband knows all about this. Told him when we were just friends before we even dated. He almost beat the shit out of Robert when we ran into him at the bar a year later in our hometown. I was able to calm my husband down (just friend at that point). My husband is much bigger than Robert. Robert was 5’9” and weighed 160 then. My husband is 6’ and weighed 210 lbs then (not fat, just a big guy, think Rip Wheeler from Yellowstone). He’s scruffy and sweet like him, a real gentlemen. :)
Please don’t bash me for cheating on Robert with George. That kiss gave me the courage to end it with a terrible person.